"Issue One Hundred and Thirty Two" by 105%-O-Matic

No flash caligraphy.

Traffic Ticket

I got a traffic ticket the other day for not getting in any accidents. The cop told me he pulled me over for "wreckless driving."

-Silas VanSky

Thanksgiving at Norman Rockwell's House

"Wait, so we have to stay totally still and not eat anything until the painting's done?"

-Alex Schmidt

Brother

My brother is crazy. Crazy like a fox! Yesterday I saw him eating a possum on the side of the road

-Amir Blumenfeld

Math Question

If a 410 pound gorilla is running east towards the White House at 22 mph, and Whoopi Goldberg is 27 miles behind the gorilla, pursuing him on a motorcycle at 68 mph, how much acid did I do?

-Charlie K

Argument

I always used to punch any kid that said Mario was cooler than Sonic, then they took away my substitute teaching license.

-Caldwell Tanner

Board Game

Is it ironic that every time you hear the word "Monopoly", it's referring to the board game?

-Anton Senia

lol

Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy, and all you see is his head and arms sticking out of the water? I bet he's not laughing out loud

-Anonymous