No flash caligraphy.
Traffic Ticket
I got a traffic ticket the other day for not getting in any accidents. The cop told me he pulled me over for “wreckless driving.”Thanksgiving at Norman Rockwell’s House
“Wait, so we have to stay totally still and not eat anything until the painting’s done?”Brother
My brother is crazy. Crazy like a fox! Yesterday I saw him eating a possum on the side of the roadMath Question
If a 410 pound gorilla is running east towards the White House at 22 mph, and Whoopi Goldberg is 27 miles behind the gorilla, pursuing him on a motorcycle at 68 mph, how much acid did I do?Argument
I always used to punch any kid that said Mario was cooler than Sonic, then they took away my substitute teaching license.Board Game
Is it ironic that every time you hear the word “Monopoly”, it’s referring to the board game?lol
Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy, and all you see is his head and arms sticking out of the water? I bet he’s not laughing out loudDisneyland
I bet Disneyland is like Disneyland for pedophiles.He Wonders
I prefer to think Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely?” was written out of a genuine question he had.If you always carry the same “Lucky” condom, it isn’t lucky.
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
The Internet Justice League
Job Interview Dos and Don'ts
Winter Pick-Up Lines
Amazing Dad Magic
Every Time a Bell Rings
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
Dear roommate, please stop leaving your notes everywhere.
Cody Kennedy. Not pictured: clothes.
Don't tell me where Waldo is. Now you've ruined it.
This injustice will not stand. Largely due to the packaging.
It's rare to find sculptures of this caliber
For those who understand data sets, but not the mysteries of the heart
Just a few more quarters... I know I can get this baby.
