1. Tell your friends all the crazy college stories you have accumulated over the first semester. Tell them with such a passion that one might mistake them for the modern day “Gulliver’s Travels”.
2. When you have finally shared all of your stories do not waste your time listening to anyone else’s.
3. Show your friends how much street cred you earned at school with your newly acquired sailor mouth, Marc Ecko jeans, and fitted hat of baseball team you don’t follow.
4. Berate your friends for not smoking enough weed.
5. Show your friends the Facebook profiles of all the girls you hooked up with.
6. Show your friends the Facebook profiles of all the girls you want them to think you hooked up with.
7. Ask your friends why they haven’t visited you at school yet and when they plan on coming.
8. Use playful banter to point out which friends gained weight, just like in the beer commercials.
9. Brag about the free Asher Roth concert your school is hosting.
10. Explain how the “Ten Crack Commandments” changed your life.
11. Make sure your friends who attend community college are aware of how much they are missing out. “What do you mean you only drink twice a week?”
12. Give your friends the scouting report on your school’s basketball team. Don’t forget to mention where they were ranked in preseason polls.
13. Constantly text your friends from school with updates on how much your friends from home suck.
14. Talk about how “over high school” you are.
15. Accuse your friends of changing while you were gone via Facebook status.
Topics
Holidays
Like this Article
URL
Close
+
-
10 Things You Never Have to Deal with Again After College
25 Phrases You'll Hear When You Go Out, and What They Really Mean
Every Superhero Origin Story Ever
Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2012
Eight Types of Laughter
20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean
If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
Remember when you thought Robot Unicorn Attack was the coolest game? You were an idiot.
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
