Girl: Frankly, I just feel like some politicians are completely out of touch with 99% of society.
Guy (clueless): …uh yeah, and it’s like…the mainstream media’s fault.
Girl: You said it! Finally, someone who shares my struggle!
Guy: I know, right? Do you want to go to my apartment?
Girl (shocked): What?!
Guy: What?
Girl: What kind of girl do you think I am?!
Guy: Uhhh-
Suddenly everything freezes.
Announcer: Need a moment?
The guy mysteriously obtains a Twix bar and takes a bite out of it. After a few hasty chews, he starts choking.
Guy (gasping for air): HEEAAGGHHELP! I…CAN’T…BREATHE!!
He passes out and drops to the ground. Everything unfreezes, and the girl is completely confused.
Announcer: When you need a moment, chew out of your problem with Twix!
+
8 Things the Internet Ruined
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
Every Time a Bell Rings
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
10 Roommate Red Flags
iPhone Airplane Modes for Other Vehicles
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
