Disclaimer: We allknow boys and girls digest food differently. Boys are gross whereasgirls turn food into flowers. I stayed up late (9:45) to write thispost for manpanions and the gross girls who actually make real poo.This is of course a catch-22 because the poo-making makes them not realgirls.
Your first weekend trip with a significant other is a test ofnerves. And bowel control, because surprisingly, 48 hours is actuallymore uncomfortable in real life than on TV.
Hangouts prior to the first weekend excursion are planned to allowboth parties ample solo time in the toilet area (out of earshot). Thisplanning allows each relationship participant to indulge in the finerthings in life, like greasy ethnic foods.
When emergencies arise, immediate embarrassment and a correspondingbreak-up is avoided by using one of these single-use excuses:
· "I forgot something at my place, be right back."
· "Man, that was a long line in there."
· "Sorry we took so long. <Name of person who accompanied you to the bathroom> had to poop, hahahahah."
While brittle white lies (a.k.a. Michael Jackson lies) like thesemay work fine for dates around town, they become weak and sometimesoverdose when used during long weekends in the undivided company ofyour lover.
No worries though. Like usual, I have a solution.Solution: The Weekend Bathroom Pass
How to Use the World's First/Best Weekend Bathroom Pass
1. Before embarking on your weekend escape, print six copies
2. Give three copies of the Weekend Bathroom Pass to your manpanion/lady friend
3. When you feel the need to visit the bathroom for an extended period of time, retrieve a Weekend Bathroom Pass
4. Wave Weekend Bathroom Pass at manpanion/lady friend
5. Confirm eye contact
6. Rip Weekend Bathroom Pass in two while maintaining eye contact
7. Run to nearest bathroom