Finals are just around the corner and that can only mean one thing:spending all hours of the day studying at the campus coffeehouse. Since you are obviously reading this instead of studying, why not take a moment to decode your fellow student’s coffee order. The first few are on the house.
organic chai latte
Girls: They have a masculine name and probably don’t shave
Guys: The only reason they are drinking this crap is because they are attempting to get into said girl’s pants
nonfat soy sugar free vanilla cafe au lait
They really like to hear themselves talk and most likely drive daddy’s car.
blueberry bagel, yogurt, kettle chips, turkey club, cookie, water
They are either hungover or Michael Phelps.
macchiato
They ordered this drink once during their semester abroad and are attempting to look cultured in front of their bros after that really ackward and embarrassing night at the frat house.
triple esspresso
They haven’t gone to class all year and are attempting to kill themselves by staying up for 40 hours to cram. Next semester, think ahead.
hot chocolate with sprinkles
Two words: momma’s boy.
black coffee
what they want it to say: I reject society’s consumerism and addiction to fluff drinks so I am drinking a real man’s coffee
what it really says: I’m here for the free wifi.




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