Carol of the Adderalls

Christmas Carols may be classics, but I think some College Carols would be way more relatable. I mean let’s face it— babies just aren’t popping up in mangers like they used to.

(quickly, to the tune of Carol of the Bells… and best if sung loudly in a library)

Ding Dong Ding Dong
Ding Dong Ding Dong
Sh*t! fell asleep, no time for sleep
Been up since 4, final’s at 3
Must stay awake, finals to take
Papers to write, can’t sleep tonight

Hey dude, you look familiar
We’re in that one class
I have a favor to ask

Can I buy some Adderall off you, please?
Can I buy some Adderall off you, please?

Heart rate is up, six coffee cups
Starting to shake, ‘least I’m awake
12 pages down, ins’piration found
Writing? A lot. Citing? Forgot

My heart feels like exploding
I hope it doesn’t
And that this paper makes sense

Rambling and incoherent phrases
Rambling and incoherent phrases

File print and, hand it in then
Call up that dude, no time for food
Adderall please, can haz for frees?
Final today… fine, dude, I’ll pay

I hope I can remember
All that I’m cramming
And that my answers make sense

Calculus exams are very tricky
Calculus exams are very tricky

Put pencil down, and look around
No one else done, that means I won
Uppers prevailed, or I just failed
Now crash and burn, sleep I have earned.

(slower)

Now crash and burn, sleep I have earned.