A couple weeks ago, I posted this ad on craigslist:
I’m looking for 8 (eight) other motorcycle riders to start a bike clan.
We will be known as “The Nazgūl”
It doesn’t really matter what kind of bike you have or what color it is. Black is preferred though.
However “The Nazgūl” does not accept scooter riders. Tough luck. Go start a hobbit clan with your little scooters.
Duties include: Wearing black cloaks wherever we ride; Exuding an aura of death to all nearby vehicles on the road.
Optional duties include: Whispering “Shire… Baggins…” to any nearby pedestrians when stopped at a red light, replacing your horn with a loud screech that induces fear and hopelessness, and equipping yourself with a sword (I have a broadsword. It’s no Morgul blade, but hey, it works.).
We won’t ever ride in the rain, because the dark riders don’t like water; its also a safety concern.
I myself, have a black gsxr 600 and been riding for about 13 months. I don’t have a cloak yet, but If I get enough of you nerds together, then I’ll make one.
As far as choosing our “Witch-King”, I think we should vote based on a combination of who has the most wicked bike and who gets into character the best.
“DO YOU NOT KNOW DEATH WHEN YOU SEE IT, OLD MAN?!”
But BEWARE! For the Witch-King cannot be slain by the likes of any mortal man; however it is possible that a woman in her Mitsubishi Eclipse, who happens to be texting her BFF, may not see you when she rear-ends you…
We will be known as “The Nazgūl”
It doesn’t really matter what kind of bike you have or what color it is. Black is preferred though.
However “The Nazgūl” does not accept scooter riders. Tough luck. Go start a hobbit clan with your little scooters.
Duties include: Wearing black cloaks wherever we ride; Exuding an aura of death to all nearby vehicles on the road.
Optional duties include: Whispering “Shire… Baggins…” to any nearby pedestrians when stopped at a red light, replacing your horn with a loud screech that induces fear and hopelessness, and equipping yourself with a sword (I have a broadsword. It’s no Morgul blade, but hey, it works.).
We won’t ever ride in the rain, because the dark riders don’t like water; its also a safety concern.
I myself, have a black gsxr 600 and been riding for about 13 months. I don’t have a cloak yet, but If I get enough of you nerds together, then I’ll make one.
As far as choosing our “Witch-King”, I think we should vote based on a combination of who has the most wicked bike and who gets into character the best.
“DO YOU NOT KNOW DEATH WHEN YOU SEE IT, OLD MAN?!”
But BEWARE! For the Witch-King cannot be slain by the likes of any mortal man; however it is possible that a woman in her Mitsubishi Eclipse, who happens to be texting her BFF, may not see you when she rear-ends you…
This was initially just going to be a joke; however it’s popularity soon grew and I felt obligated to continue my quest to become a Nazgūl rider.
The first (and only) prototype cloak:
Email responses to my ad:
In closing, I’d like to address why we have to ride on motorcycles. Its because of that damn she-elf, Arwen, that our horses are gone. Liv Tyler… You sexy little b*tch…











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