Writing a Pros and Cons Article About Writing a Pros and Cons Article Right Before Finals, Right Before Finals

- It will help stop you from passing out after the painful all-nighter you just pulled, though not as much as that energy drink.

- You’ll begin to realize (right about here in the article) that you REALLY shouldn’t be writing this and should be studying. You’ll then start to think of ways to motivate yourself like “HOLY SHIT I NEED TO GET AT LEAST A ‘B’ ON THIS FINAL TO PASS THE CLASS!!”

- You’ll then begin to wonder “What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop writing this article?”

Cons: Thank god, I’m halfway done…

- SHIT! That’s a Pro not a Con!

Pros: You can learn the material by just holding the notecards right? right?

Cons: You’re wasting time asshole!

- You’re losing focus brainstorming for Cons instead of studying.

- You just finished your last Starbucks coffee thing, which, you may have just realized, makes you insanely jittery and makes it even harder to focus.

- AAAAAAAAAHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!

- cry

- call mom

- “Mom I’m gonna fail my class, drop out of school, and become a male prostitute to make money for the heroin addiction I develop from the unbearable pain of my pointless existence OH NOOOOoooo!”

- cry

- watch ‘Requiem for a Dream’

- miss your final

- submit article

- Receive email: “Hey! Our editors have sent your article to the local listings! Go f*ck yourself and die you worthless piece of shit!”

- cry and masturbate