There comes a time in every young man's life when he encounters a carcass of the fairer sex and he must ask himself "Is it cool to bang this dead chick?" Well, there are three other questions that he must answer first:

1. What did she die from?

Contagious diseases are out. You don't want to explain to the CDC that you caused an ebola outbreak because you had a horny hankerin for a dead woman. That conversation will be awkward. and if you are prepared to have intercourse with the recently deceased then you probably don't need any more awkwardness in your life. Animal related deaths are also out. Chances are that getting your dilly wet in the decomposing juices of a fine young woman's body will be the last thing you do before being torn to shreds yourself.

2. Is she still warm?

We all know that it gets smaller when it's cold, so let's not embarass ourselves in front of the recently departed by shriveling during penetration. Warmth is not necessary but highly recommended. If you have a large oven or can build a fire then warming up the willing young miss is an option. If you are the rare, sick bastard who doesn't mind cold meat then cheers! You have low standards even among the dead.

3. Can you make your own hole?

This chick is dead as a doornail, just like the two out of the three little pigs (bricks ftw). Now's your chance to experiment. She's dead, so it's not cheating, and your girlfriend won't let you bang her left lung no matter how drunk you get her while watching a gossip girl marathon.

If you find that the answer to each question is agreeable to your personal, deplorable dispositon, then good for you! It's time for some necro-FUN-ia!! If not, keep looking for the right (dead) girl!