Elaine and Mary-Kate: One Girl, Two Very Different Personalities

Most well known around CollegeHumor as one fifth of the sketch group “Dutch West”, Elaine Carroll, an actress, writer and producer living in New York, is taking the world of internet comedy by storm. Not only has she starred in various CollegeHumor videos (“Where The Hell is Matt’s Girlfriend” and “Dangerous Condom Applicator” come to mind), but she’s managed, as well, to turn her depiction of Mary-Kate Olsen’s life, entitled “Very Mary-Kate”, into a viral web sensation. Luckily for me (and for you, I hope), I had the wonderful opportunity of interviewing both Elaine and Mary-Kate. You can check out all of Elaine’s work at www.elainecarroll.net, and the ever-hilarious and weekly-updated Mary-Kate sketches at www.verymarykate.com.

If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title would be?

Mary-Kate: They did.  “Influence”.  Buy it.  All proceeds go to me.
Elaine: “Going Rogue; the Elaine Carroll Plagiarism Story”

Describe an atom.

MK: Hmm?
E: Imagine a single cluster of Honey Nut Cluster Cereal.  The nuts and oats are like protons and neutrons.  Now imagine there’s a cloud of electrons surrounding it, the whole shebang is teeny tiny, and everything in the universe is made of it.  This is why the African-American woman from the commercials looks so stressed out.  She’s not kidding when she says, “We gotta feed America!”

How would you describe yourself in three words?

MK: I would say….
E: Three words? Hmm.

What is something that not a lot of people know about you but you wish more people could know?

MK: I dunno, probably lots of stuff I guess.
E: I fought in the Revolutionary War.

If I came to your home and looked in your refrigerator, what would I find?

MK: Don’t come to my house, that’s weird.
E: Take-out and delivery cartons.

What motivational quote do you live your life by?

MK: Take as directed.
E: Work hard and be nice.

Bush or Obama?

MK: Wax.
E: Obama.

How would you describe the colour yellow to a blind person?

MK: I would have my assistant take care of it.
E: Umm I dunno… it’s like the your dog? I’m sorry. I don’t… (I awkwardly step away.) 

What position do you sleep in?

MK: I don’t know, I’m usually sleeping.
E: I’m usually laying down.

What’s your favourite thing to buy at Wal-Mart?

MK: Guns and ammo.
E: The Canon EOS 7D.  On sale for $5.99 a pound!

Between yourself and your sister, who do you think is prettier? More stylish? More successful? More charitable?

MK: We’re twins, so it’s like pretty equal, but I’m much better at filling out questionnaires. 
E: She would probably get 3 out of 4.  Thank you for reminding me of my second-child insecurities.

What’s the best Christmas gift you got this year?

MK: An Island.
E: Carl Sagan’s book “The Varieties of Scientific Experience”.  It’s about vampires who practice abstinence.

Who do you admire most and why?

MK: Beyoncé.  I wish I was curvy.
E: My family.  To get where they got, despite the odds, takes something pretty extraordinary.