Performance fleeces in your closet
Gratefulness for gift card
Proximity of another holiday where you’ll receive the exact same gift card
Willingness to drive 50 miles to find a Sam Goody
Probability you will use card as a makeshift shuriken
How awesome it is when you decide to spend what’s left on candy
Calls from grandma asking about your giftcard purchases
Excitement over finding something that costs exactly 34 cents
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No worries.
Chatting with my girlfriend I was expressing my worries for an upcomming exam. She replied with "don't worry about the grade, it won't matter when you're a 'stay-at-home-husband'." She's a keeper.





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Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?