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Questions of the Jackass

by thekid on February 10, 2007

Don’t you hate jackasses and their questions?� Seriously, don’t you hate it when people are always asking simple questions in such an asinine manner that makes you want to cut off their tongues and shove them up their asses.� You just know the only reason they can’t ask the same question in a politer form is because they were abused as a child, or are neglected by all those of the opposite sex (and even most of the same sex).� But here are a couple jackass questions that really annoy the hell out of me:

When standing in line for food, while talking to a friend:

Jackass:� Are you fags talking or are you Eating?

Not only is this politically incorrect, it’s a retarded question.� What type of answer does this guy expect?� How about, “Hey Jackass, there are still 15 people in front of me!� Us standing here for five more seconds isn’t going to delay your whole meal by 5 hours. Damn what a jackass!“� I would tell you a nicer way to say this question, but the question is just stupid to being with.� And thus the jackass is stupid as well.� Mainly because as soon as you step forward, this guy turns around to his friends, laughs and continues talking.� I think the even better answer to this jackass is, “I think I’m going to eat, but the real question is, ‘Are YOU eating or talking?’ because from here it looks like you’re talking.� Good job dumbass”.

Sitting in the library studying:

Dumbass Jackass (Shouts from across the library): This is a fucking library, turn your damn phone off!

Let’s see, where to begin on this jackass.� How about you’re being louder, more annoying, and causing a larger scene than my phone ever will?� This Jackass just wants to bring attention to himself by trying to embarrass you or something along those lines.� But in the end he’s just the moron.� You just have to love all those idiots in libraries that scream, yell, or even SHhhh you in an attempt to bring about more silence.� Guess what, you’re not helping.� But this is easily fixable to make this dumbass jackass not so dumb or jackassy.� Let’s start by taking a different approach to this other minuscule outburst.� First you can just ignore it, shit happens, everone’s phone goes off sometimes.� Second, walk up to the person and ask them to turn their phone on silent instead of screaming across the room.� Or even choice Three, just go back to sleep.

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