Dating, It's Complicated: Issue #38

Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!

 

So there I was scrolling down the CollegeHumor front page to look for articles to read and my girlfriend walked up to me as I was scrolling pass the “Hot College Girl” article. She proceeded to yell at me because I was looking at other girls.
-Mike, OU

 

My wife and I (both recent college graduates) have a 9 month old daughter together. She’s just starting to eat finger foods. We usually give her a little bit of what we have for dinner so she can try new things. One night, we were having omelets for dinner, and I was about to put some on her high chair. My wife stopped me, and explained that the doctor said we shouldn’t introduce eggs yet. Aloud I wondered why is that? My wife, a cum laude graduate, responded, “It’s probably because of the wheat and dairy [in the eggs]. She might have an allergy.”

-Anonymous

 

For our anniversary of over a year, my boyfriend gave me a sack of donut holes.
-Amanda, Texas

I had just spent the day with a girl that I have been talking to for a while. It was raining as I was giving her a ride home. We arrived at her house, and I parked in the driveway. She did not leave immediately, so we sat in the car for a bit, listening to the raindrops on the roof of my car. I wasn’t sure what we were waiting for, perhaps for the rain to stop. She then rolled down the windows for about 5 seconds and then rolled it back up. I looked at her confused and asked “Why did you just roll the windows down?” She answered, “Well, it was getting foggy in here.” I answered, “Yeah, but we’re not going anywhere, it doesn’t matter if…” I stopped halfway because of a rancid odor that has hit my nose. I looked at her and was like, “Oh my god, you just farted.” Long story short, we’re dating now, and she farts often and tries to hide it. I call her out any time I smell a fart.

-Anonymous

 

After she broke up with me, my ex sent me a Facebook invite to a group called “Show her you looooove her!” Needless to say, I ignored it.
-Jason H. Western Washington University

 

So I’ve been seeing this girl for the past few months. At first I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but it was pretty evident that she was (Or so I thought). We would hang out a few nights a week, I’d take her to dinner and got her flowers on her birthday, and her family likes me a lot. I finally decide to attempt to turn these random hook-ups into a relationship in a sort of abrupt manner. I flat out asked her if she could see us in a relationship to which she responded: “I think you’re a great guy, and I love spending time with you, but my ex-boyfriend gets out of jail in April and I think I’m gonna give it another shot even though I know things will go sour in month or so.” Yeah so… I’m not hangin’ out with her anymore.
-Jim, CT

 

Last night I finally convinced my girlfriend to watch The Godfather with me. Nice…until she asked me,  “has the actor playing Michael Corleone ever been in anything else?”
-Alex K, UMD

 

I hadn’t had sex with my girlfriend in like 2 weeks, so when we finally had a quickie the first thing that came out of my mouth without even thinking was, “Thank you.” It didn’t go over so well…

-Anonymous

 

My girlfriend just moved to Philly for a new job.  One day on the phone she tells me about some creepy guy who asked for her phone number at a Domino’s Pizza.  We both laughed it off.  Fast forward to a week before Valentine’s Day… I order a pimped out bouquet of flowers to my girlfriend’s work as an early surprise Valentine’s Day gift.  As a joke, I had the flower shop sign the card as ‘Jeff from Domino’s’ (the creepy guy that asked my girlfriend for her number).  On the day that the flowers arrived, I text my girlfriend to see if she got her ‘package’.  She texts me back, frantic, saying that after opening the card and seeing that the flowers were from ‘Jeff’, she alerted her office that there was a stalker following her.  The flowers were thrown out, there was a staff meeting on stalkers, and now my girlfriend gets escorted home every day to her apartment to make sure nobody is following her.  Happy Valentine’s Day babe!
-Peter, Buffalo, NY