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Brian Murphy

Legend of Zelda FmyLife

by Brian Murphy on


Today, I was assigned a fairy sidekick. Sherlock Holmes had Watson. Batman had Robin. And I get a f*cking fairy. “Listen!” “Listen!” SHUT THE F*CK UP. FML

I agree, your life sucks (43251) – you totally deserve it (7432)
On 11/23/1998 at 8:24am – sidekicks – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I thought I’d do some light gardening. Did you know that “bomb flowers” are a thing? Cuz I didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks (5738) – you totally deserve it (7857)
On 11/24/1998 at 4:24pm – gardening – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I saw a girl I had a huge crush on when I was a kid. She thinks she’s a man now. FML

I agree, your life sucks (64424) – you totally deserve it (1321)
On 11/24/2005 at 5:35pm – love – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I accepted a dinner invitation from a goron to be polite. They only eat rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks (4352) – you totally deserve it (8211)
On 11/25/2005 at 06:34pm – friends – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I made a joke about makin’ it rain after playing the “Song of Storms.” No one laughed and Malon called me a fag. FML

I agree, your life sucks (1422) – you totally deserve it (7888)
On 11/25/2005 at 9:13pm – jokes – by Link – Hyrule

Today, my gender-confused soulmate was kidnapped by a demon manpig. Contemplating sleeping for seven more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks (5323) – you totally deserve it (353)
On 11/26/2005 at 5:14pm – love – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I defeated Ganon and saved the princess. Time for Zelda to reward me, right? She turned me back into a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks (66421) – you totally deserve it (313)
On 11/23/1998 at 8:24am – friends – by Link – Hyrule

Today, I began another quest. It’s all timed and I’m constantly reliving the same days over and over again. My new adventure is a ripoff of the movie “Groundhog Day.” FML

I agree, your life sucks (33131) – you totally deserve it (1313)
On 10/26/2000 at 9:20am – majora’s mask – by Link – Hyrule
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Admiral D!ck

I use to work at a Military Rec. Center in the boat rental. The rules were easy 1.first come first serve, 2.rank does not matter, 3.and have a military id, will travel; they could rent boats and go fishing or partying. 6 months prior to graduating boot camp a group of marines reserved the "party barge" (BIG a$$ pontoon) this also happened to be Memorial Weekend.... Read More » Soo, the fresh little newbie's have loaded up the party barge with beer and what not and this Navy Admiral walks up without reservations and orders them to "Disembark and relinquish" the boat. All the new marines snap to attention and start unloading. The admiral than orders them to leave there fishing equipment and beer to save him time and expense. Seeing this I walk up and inform the Admiral "no reservations, no boat, your sol." Admiral orders to see my boss (I am the boss) and say "go to the big white house in DC and file your complaint there" Admiral "What's your name and rank! I'll have you marshaled!" Me "my name is ___" having no rank because I'm a civilian I stick my butt out and while pointing to my posterior "my rank is kiss this." Mr. Admiral d!ck wad storms off mumbling something about MPs and I help the marines out of the dock and with them a happy party. I do so love p!ssing of military officers.