• First rule of Myspace is, no one talks about Myspace. Ever. Unless the conversation goes:

      "Hey, do you remember Myspace?"

      "No."

• If it's one of your Facebook friends' birthday, and you don't write happy birthday on their wall, then there is no point in continuing to be friends with them.

• "Maybe Attending" is the new "Not Attending".

• At least half of the pages you are a fan off should be ironic and/or male chauvinism.

• It is your responsibility as their Facebook friend to tag them in any photo they appear in, no matter how far in the distance they are or how big a part of their body is shown – unless they look decent. Then the aforementioned responsibility forfeits.

• If you can say it in less than 140 characters it's probably not that interesting – so go right ahead and tweet it.

• You should be followed by at least one Russian girl who links to malicious websites. If this isn't the case you are doing something wrong.

• You should always aim to have more followers than you are following, as it is this ratio that determines your coolness. 

• Making your own #-tag should be done on a regular basis to ensure your followers that you get how twitter works.

• Unfortunately the social norms of AOL were lost when the great library in Alexandria was set on fire in 48 B.C. Which, coincidentally, is also around the time you should have stopped using AOL.

• If you are going to upload videos, vlogging is mandatory.

• If you watch a video you should ALWAYS rate it 5 stars – even if you didn't like it. The people went through a lot of trouble making these videos and the least you can do is show a bit of respect.