How You Deal With Having One and a Half Bites Left Of Your Sandwich and What it Says About You

Sex: Male/ every once and a while

Major: Engineering

Personality: You plan ahead, you make decisions and act on them. You sit high upon your pedestal and scorn other sandwich eaters for their sloppy technique.

You first take a full bite, and then finish with the half bite:

Sex: Male/ with whoever will have you.

Major: Undecided/ Business

Personality: You went to college figuring you’ll decide on a major once you get there. You buy the keg before you plan the party. You’re impulsive and kind of stupid, but everyone still loves you except the engineering majors who have a test tomorrow and a sandwich to finish properly.

You take three mini 1/3rd bites:

Sex: Male/ with the same person you’ve been sleeping with for the past 3 years

Major: Pre-med

Personality: You like order and daily routine. You frown upon spontaneity. You’ve got your life plan for the next 30 years. You’ll be successful, but you also will have a breakdown when your girlfriend dumps you and it throws off your whole 30 year plan.

You stuff the whole thing in your mouth haphazardly:

Sex: Male/ I sure as hell hope not

Major: Waste Management

Personality: It started when you were a kid and you hated puzzles. Then you realized you hated thinking. Unlike the other sandwich eaters; you don’t drink or get high for fun, you get high so you don’t have to think. Do everyone a favor and hide your keys from yourself.

You just say ‘f*ck it’ and toss the rest out:

Sex: Male/ whenever you want

Major: Any of the cool ones

Personality: You do whatever the hell you want. You’re crazy! You’re cool. You’re the trend setter. You check fold pocket aces and go all in with 2-7 offsuit. You still play texas hold’em. damn.