Bro-dom: a common epidemic of 21st century American youth, and equally common fodder for ridicule. One can always tell a bro from their brightly colored shorts, their Ray-Ban sunglasses, preference towards lacrosse, affection for micro-brew, and finally, their taste in movies. Fro bros, a good movie experience does not so much depend on good writing or storytelling as much as extreme action, glorified drug use and cutboard abs. So, if you see a kid in your hall put up one of the following movie posters, or discussing one of these movies while doing calf raises at the gym, please note that you may have a bro on your hands:
Man on Fire
Why it's Bro: Contains copious amounts of explosions and violent action scenes that use seizure inducing editing to forge some flair. Bros dig that shit. Most of all, however, the film stars ultimate badass and bro favorite Denzel Washington, doing what Denzel does best: kicking ass. And killing a lot of people. Plus, just the right dosage of Christopher Walken to satisfy a bro's thirst (Bros love their Christopher Walken).
Why it's bro: Like Man on Fire, 300 falls under the category of total kickass movie with questionable ethics. The movie makes sure to remind everyone that unlike those fags from Athens, Spartans fought like men. Even if they had no chance of surviving. And even if they hurt their own civilization by doing so. 300 is the perfect movie when you and your Lax teammates want to get fired up on the bus before a division 4 high school playoff game. Extreme battle scenes, sweet lines ("Give them nothing, but take from them EVERYTHING") and cut abs galore make 300 a bro's wet dream.
The Boondock Saints
Why it's bro: Combines cheap humor, over-the-top action scenes, religious drivel and a badass representation of Irish Americans to satisfy all bros' desires (its is a fact fact that all Irish bros, even some people that I respect, believe 'Boondock Saints' to be a great piece of cinema).
The movie's Irish/ South Boston focus makes it a strong draw for the Irish bro community. Being a good part Irish myself, I almost understand the sentiment. After all, what do we have to brag about? We are a short and ugly people with annoying accents and pretty shitty food. But in 'Boondock Saints', we are short and ugly vigilantes who can shoot the hell out of a revolver.
Why it's bro: Stock full of sweet drug use scenes and a 60's soundtrack, blow provides white-Americans with their own version of Scarface, with a rarely seen makeup-less Johnny Depp serving as a Bostonian version of Tony Montana. The movie remains just obscure enough to strike up a solid bro conversation:
Bro 1: Do you know what's a totoally underrated Johhny Depp movie? Blow.
Bro 2: Dude, what a fucking great movie! So Underrated!
Bro 1: I have it on DVD! Wanna watch it in my dorm room?
Bro 2: Ya dude, lets do it! I'll bring some Blue Moon.
Bro 1: Sweet! I'll bring some condems.
Why it's bro: No discussion of the Bro Movie genre is complete without the mentioning of "Fight Club". I mean, just look at the premise: an underground club based on knocking the shit out of complete strangers. "Fight Club" includes enough shirtless Brad Pitt scenes to induce long-lasting broners, as well as a complicated, twisty plot that allows for some deep bro thinking. Certainly the best movie on this list; certainly not the best movie of all time, despite what B-Rad from Sig Chi thinks.