How impressed the girl is
Apologies
Number of orgasms your girlfriend fakes
You’re a sex machine!
You’re an ACTUAL machine built for sex
Height of pelvis
Goddamnit PLEASE just let me take the condom off to finish
Thickness of condom
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Chatting with my girlfriend I was expressing my worries for an upcomming exam. She replied with "don't worry about the grade, it won't matter when you're a 'stay-at-home-husband'." She's a keeper.
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When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
