A new year is upon us, and it's time for resolutions. Here are some ways to improve yourself in this year of the boar:

• Eat rice
• Befriend a dragon
• Read Confucius
• Buy some fireworks
• Meet Confucius
• Watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon again; learn to fly
• Kill Confucius
• Use the fireworks to scare away the man-eating nian beast
• Eat more rice
• Build a giant wall to keep out the Mongolians