Peanut butter, I know we’ve been friends for a long time. Why am I playing Dave Matthews Band’s Say Goodbye? No reason. Well it’s just that lately I’ve been thinking… I know there’s been this tension between us and I just want to say – well peanut butter, I love you.

What do I expect you to say? How about you say, “I love you too”? I mean, you don’t have to. I just…

No, I understand. I know! Our friendship means more to me than anything too! I just couldn’t keep this inside any longer. You know me, I’m a mess. Without you I just get the bread all soggy every time. My life feels meaningless without you. I want be in the same jar as you forever. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think we belong together. Together, we can make sure that it's truly peanut butter jelly time.