Previously Neglected STD

As college students you should be considerably aware of promiscuous people when you’re out and about.  Women, watch out for pretty much every single male at school. Even that D&D kid who is constantly wheezing, because hidden admidst that breathing disorder are some of the most vile and dirty things you’ll ever here. Men, lets make sure she isn’t a cum dumpster.  If you do end up sleeping with one of the infected without that thin coat of armor, there’s a pretty good chance you just got an STD.  So what if you avoid the promiscuous people, and feel as if you’re safe? You don’t need a condom, right?  Well, even if you think they’re clean, watch out,  you may get the most expensive and longest lasting STD there is regardless.

Succint definition of Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD):a communicable infection transmitted by sexual intercourse or genital contact.

SO:

ALSO:


AND LASTLY:


Thats common knowledge, well hopefully.

Anywho lets dwell deeper.

Define Disease: an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

Diseases are usually rejected by the body and there is a constant battle occuring inside lead by lymphocytes, macrophages, t cells, blah blah blah.  Well, when the man releases his troops into battle, the woman’s fun box begins to lay waste to many countless souls-to-be.  Some defense cells actually decapitate the long-tailed fellas.  Below is what I envision the scene like:

 

Now, some diseases are caused by viruses. 

Virus: ultramicroscopic infectious agent that replicates itself only within cells of living hosts.

We know if you do the deed and let the white people invade new lands, you might have a little problem…uh, blessing in 9 months.  Well, let me tell you, your strongest storm trooper invaded that delicate little egg and started replicating the sh*t out of it. Kind of like, oh you know, a virus.

Soooo, ipso facto, babies are STD’s. Beautiful, cuddly, and joyful STD’s.

 

 

Here you can see the epidemic in relation to common U.S. STD’s

Disease	Cases/ Year
Babies	3,890,000
Chlamydia	1,210,523
Gonorrhea	336,742
Syphilis	46,277

 

**Oh and Mississippi, you ranked 1st  in Chlamydia and Gonorrhea per 100,000 people.  Tell your cousins, brothers, and sisters to get themselves checked.

As you can see babies are the number one STD every year on average in the United States, and this crisis seems only to be climbing higher and higher.  Pretty soon this STD will destroy the world via overpopulation, or more presumably via increased suicides due to a surplus of “16 and Pregnant” episodes. It is imperative we begin to acknowledge this baby syndrome as a disease.

It is also to be noted that CollegeHumor is infested with them.