Best Of

This week’s post is a collection of the best short submissions of the past two years. Do you have your own stories of parents not understanding technology? Of course you do. Old people are morons. Submit your tales of incompetence here. lol (lots of love), SW

Today a really old man got mad at me because we couldn’t make color copies for him. I work at Blockbuster.
Anonymous Rex

My mom thinks printing out website pages is “downloading them.”
Amy Kowell, Fredonia

I was looking for apartments, and my dad told me that I should see what I could find on “Paul’s list.”
Alexandra Payne, McGill University

I asked my dad to pick up a DVD for my mother. He bought her the soundtrack to the movie instead.
Laura Anne, University of Iowa

My mom thinks her Hotmail is her website.
Jean-Francois Lepine

My mom just made a new email address: www.janice_3356@live.com
Jen Bertand

Mom’s Text Message: “Can u go 2 niketown to buy a Pacquia shirt 4 dad size lrg? B careful swine flu.”
N Lazo, UNLV

My step-mother writes “at” and then circles it every time she gives somebody her email address.
tom U

My mom always scrolls back to the top of a website after reading it so it’s “tidied up for the next person to watch.”
Michael Hoffstaedter

My dad saved all the “free trial of AOL” disks he received in the mail for the past 10 years, “Just in Case.”
Erik A

Whenever I tell my mom a URL or an email address, she still asks, “Is that all one word?”
Graeme M

While my mom was making a facebook page, my dad shouted, “I want a MyFaceSpace too!!” Then asked, “Am I on there?”
Ben Morris-Rains

Today my dad backed up his computer on 18 CD-R discs.
T.J. Goldsmith, Western Michigan University

Every time my mother sends me an email, she types the email in Word and then attaches the document to a blank email.
Pat W

My aunt just sent me a text message that said, “r u by an internet?”
Jessica M

My dad just got back from the Verizon store. He told my mom to check out his new “eartooth.”
thecoolguy Smith, Westmoreland County Community College

My grandmother thinks you can only buy batteries from Radio Shack.
Leigh H, Marist

My dad asked me if our car’s GPS works by following the road’s carbon footprints.
rob russo

My grandparents have the numbers for tech support written in black marker on the edge of their monitor.
Harry Effron, Columbia

My grandma insists my cell phone is a blackberry..because it’s black.
Kim York, Mcgill University

A guest at the hotel I work at asked me if we have “Wi-Band” access.
Chuck Smith

My mom can’t click fast enough to double-click.
Michelle Z

My dad said he wants an iPod so that he can listen to mp3s while he plays solitaire on the computer.
Shawn Cullen

My dad calls the Contact List on his cell his “Phone Tree.”
Brendan M

When my mom tries calling my cell and it’s not on, she’ll send me text saying, “Turn on your phone.”
Andrea Gutierrez

My mom created a Facebook account. Under network she entered “Frontier Telephone,” her internet provider.
J McComb

Any time I’m looking at a picture of a lol cat my dad comes up behind me and reads it with a Russian accent.
Bob G

My mom was cleaning out the house and found my Nintendo Power Pad. She asked if I still wanted my “electric twister.”
Jeff Rubin

After being asked by a friend if he had an email address, my father responded, “I think so, try Frank.com”
Heather M

MY DAD WRITES IN CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN HE ASKS QUESTIONS ON EBAY BECAUSE IT’S HIS “TRADEMARK”.
The Boy

Last week, I texted my dad to ask him a question. Two days later, I got his reply, “Yes”, five times.
Willy Dee

My boss complained he couldn’t get a “webpage to download.” He was typing the URL into the subject of an email.
Jared Nunes

My mom’s friend calls it a cell-o-phone.
Brian Lowe