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Caldwell Tanner

Shark Attack II

by Caldwell Tanner on

written with Kevin “manbearshark” Corrigan

Check out parts one, three, four, and five of the Shark Attack Series.

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Check out more from Shark Attack
 
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Shark Attack IV: Sharktober Spooktacular
Shark Attack III
Shark Attack II
Shark Attack
 
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Hail "Thatan"

To My Dear Roommate: I'm sorry if I made you fear for your life. I'm not a Satanist. I just wanted you to GTFO for a few days so I could move out in peace. Since you (among all your other "charming" qualities) always taunted me mercilessly about my speech impediment and I know you love doing your Helen Keller impressions for the hearing-impaired girl across the... Read More » hall, I just didn't want you bullying my deaf father while he helped me move my fridge out from underneath your garbage. I probably went to far with the altar and the upside-down cross, but I didn't see your ugly mug again until I was comfortably situated in my new room. Admittedly, I felt a little guilty when you handed me a "Have You Let Christ into Your Heart?" pamphlet a week later. Thorry about that, thister.