The Hider: You're shy, paranoid, and can't throw for shit. The only reason you are playing dodge ball is because the change room is locked and your gym teacher won't believe your sprained ankle story. So you do the next best thing, hide behind everyone in the back like a pussy. It's genius, no one will be able to hit you with all the big guys in front. This is a good strategy 50% of the time. However, when your team is losing, and everyone except you is out, you are the only target to aim for. Your team is pissed because they know winning is no longer an option, and they yell at you saying, "Catch a Goddamn ball!" or, "Don't even try throwing it!". You think you will prove them wrong, you will win their respect, you will get them all back in oh, and you just got out
The Dick Head: Your day consists of shoving kids into lockers, making fun of people who are smaller than you, and failing tests. It's safe to say that high school is your peak in life. So when your gym teacher says the words, "today, we're playing dodge ball", you nearly cream your pants. Dodge ball for you is an opportunity to hurt people without getting in trouble. You purposely hit kids in the head, and swear that it was an "accident". Your favorite part of the game is spoiling The Hider's one chance of redemption and hitting kids, once again "by accident" while they are already out and walking to the bench. With that being said, your fun can easily be spoiled when a kid who is half your size is able to get you out. Its alright, they snuck up on you, you didn't see them coming, theres no way you would let some bitch-kid get you out. But they did, now you have to take a seat with a bruised ego.
The Cheater: Dodge ball for you is just another opportunity to further the illusion that you are smart, athletic, and good with girls. Your best strategies are to throw balls way over the line, make up bullshit rules such as "If the ball bounces twice and I catch it, you're out", and lie about being hit, saying that the ball just brushed against you. Cheaters usually work in teams with other cheaters to back up their story to appear as if they are telling the truth. The only downside to being a cheater is that if someone cheats while getting you out, nothing can be said that doesn't make you look like a huge hypocrite. So you're out now, but don't worry, you'll get back at that guy by f**king his girlfriend.
The Misser: For some reason, you constantly have one of the balls in your hands. And you always end up throwing the ball inches away from that pregnant teacher who spends all of her time in the gym. Nice going. You embarrass yourself multiple times while playing dodge ball and yet never submit to joining The Hider at the back of the court where you belong. When you have one of the balls, there is always 5 or 6 guys begging you to pass it to one of them, but you never give in. And why should you? You're good ish. You got that one guy out, you think. He might have already been out, but you're pretty sure it was you that got him out. Besides, whats the worst that could happen if you throw it Well, there goes a stage light, once again, nice going.
The Nonchalant: Sigh Whats even the point to this game, you say. Maybe you would have a different attitude if you weren't so bad at it. But to make sure that nobody knows how brutal you really are at this game, you'll continue to act as if it is below you to participate in it. Unlike everyone else, when an opposing player advances with one of the balls, instead of running away, you stand perfectly still. Then, when after you are hit, you act like it didn't effect you in the least, even though it hurt pretty bad. You stay where you are for a couple more seconds until someone says, "you're out". You then give a cockeye'd look to whoever said it, walk to the bench and say "whatever". Man, you are one cool motherf**ker.