Mom's undying love is funny,
Shows itself in ways,
They look like divine rain-drops,
But the truth is mutual pain.
Everything about her sucks,
or so it would seem,
just when jerking off to some porn,
she walks right in to 'clean'.
You switch to your favorite PC game,
when momma's around.
While flyin' a chopper through a war zone,
Mom talks and crashes it to the ground.
She starts gossiping 'bout what grandma did,
thinking I give a shit.
I ask her to leave me the hell alone,
she starts to cry, and then exclaims
"The baby I knew is gone!"
I realize her need to sit and talk,
so I come and play along.
I tell her about a funny guy in school,
who thought his dick was long.
She's grossed out, obviously
and lectured, which too was long..
about today's youth gone astray
and everything about them's wrong.
That the world's full of whores and weed,
parading around with a bong.
She reminds me that I'm treading downhill,
by playing video games.
She wants me to be the nerd next door,
who's actually sexually lame.
She denied me a staple diet of pizza,
and made me eat some leaves,
green, tasteless, odourless stuff,
which looked no different from weed.
What about the good old days,
when parents taught you good deeds,
but then again you evolve,
by learning not to heed.
I love you too mom,
But this has got to stop.
So shut your f***ing pie hole,
and go get me a scotch!