The World Cup is almost here. And with 32 nations vying for the biggest title in the world's most popular sport, you bet you're going to want to root hard for the United States — and against every other nation. (At least until the U.S. is eliminated, upon which you'll tell yourself you never cared about soccer in the first place.) But who are these other countries? I mean, Cameroon? What have they ever done that's so hateable? Oh. Plenty.Read on.

ALGERIA

Want to know how wimpy Algeria is? In 1830, France – yes, the France – managed to invade and capture the entire country. If you can't keep history's most bumbling military from invading you, it's hard to imagine what sort of defense you're going to mount on the soccer pitch. Also, what kind of national motto is “بالشّعب وللشّعب”? Here in America we like to use actual words for mottos, not just a bunch of nonsensical scribbling. Maybe try something American like: "E Pluribus Unum."