Dog: Thank you, sir. I'm gonna go dump it in that parking lot over there.

Wheelbarrow: Looks like there's a pretty huge pile of cash there. Is any of that going to the poor?

Dog: Maybe. If they park there.

_______________

Police Officer: Hey you! What are you doin' on this corner?

Wheelbarrow: Just walking around the block, thought I'd stop for a second.

Police Officer: Yeah? Tell it to the judge!

(one day later)

Wheelbarrow: Can I leave now?

Police Officer: For $50, we'll pretend this never happened.

Wheelbarrow: Nothing happened. Can't I just walk out?

Police Officer: Depends. How many lots are you planning to walk down?

Wheelbarrow: Uh…4?

Police Officer: 2 and then 2 more, or 3 and then 1?

Wheelbarrow: 3 and 1?

Police Officer: Wrong answer, tough guy! You'll sit in that cell 'til you rot…in three days. Or until you plan to walk down the same number of lots twice.

________________

Banker: Hello, sir, here's $200!

Wheelbarrow: For what?

 

Banker: Why, for walking around this corner, of course.

 

Wheelbarrow: Are you, like, an opposite-bum or something? You just stand here and pass out hundreds of dollars?

 

Banker: Yes! Precisely!

 

Wheelbarrow: Good thing I don't keep my money in your bank.

 

Banker: Agreed.

 

Wheelbarrow: Hey, ever notice that the absolute poorest, ghetto part of town and the fanciest, richest part share the same corner?

 

Banker: I dunno. They both look like empty lots to me.

_______________

 

Wheelbarrow: Oh god! How could you afford to buy up almost every property?

 

Thimble: Business acumen. And parking lots. And beauty contests.

Wheelbarrow: Well, I'll just be on my way…

 

Thimble: NOT SO FAST. You're staying here tonight. $1400.

 

Wheelbarrow: But…but…I own the hotel that's right next door. Why would I stay here?

Thimble: LUXURY!

 

Wheelbarrow: Well, I'm going to have to sell the hotel that I own just to stay one night in your hotel.

Thimble: AND THEN I WILL OWN EVERY HOTEL IN THE HOTEL DISTRICT!

 

Police Officer: WHOOOOA THERE! This wheelbarrow ain't staying anywhere. He's under arrest for triple-double-moving!

 

Thimble: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Wheelbarrow: Thank god. Hey officer, I think I'll be going down 2 lots and then another 2 lots.

 

Police Officer: Are you kidding me? What you did was practically treason. You'd be lucky to get out in less than twenty years.

Wheelbarrow: What if I told you I had a "Get Out of Jail Free" card?