1) The Sandlot – Bertrum became a burnout.
At the end of the movie, the Narrator goes through what happened to each of the boys. When he gets to the lovable nerd with the big ears and glasses… “Bertrum, well Betrum got really into the 60s and no one ever saw him again.” So basically Bertrum did some hardcore drugs and probably OD’d. That’s kind of a bummer.
2) Rookie of the Year – Henry’s ‘arch-enemy’ was on steroids.
Perhaps I shouldn’t really care that the protagonist’s enemy was doings something illegal… but look at him. Big possibly Spanish, possibly white guy with a huge head and a huge upper body, also a huge dickhead… he matches every single guy on the infamous ‘Mitchell Report’ that called out every steroid user more or less ruining baseball from 1980 – 2002.
3) The Goonies – Sloth’s parents were related.
Um… Sloth is horribly disfigured, and it can only be assumed he was born like that. Its actually pretty terrible when you think about it, look at him. There’s no way his mom and dad weren’t like cousins, or siblings.. kinda gross. Additionally about Sloth… I’m fairly certain, he molested Chunk.
4) Space Jam – Michael Jordan was on Shrooms.
One of my childhood heros was a such a terrible baseball player that he slumped into a deep depression that led him to hallucinogens… I looked up to this man.
5) Angels in the Outfield – Tony Danza was cast as a hall of fame pitcher.
‘Nuff said.
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