Daughter Successfully Explains Advantages of Using Facebook

Jessica:  Dad, Facebook is all about social networking.  I know this doesn’t make sense to you since you have like zero friends!

Dad:  Your mother and I had the Busch’s over for dinner last night…

Jessica:  Just come here and take a look.  See, last week I added Jared Starnes-

Dad:  That kid from your old grade school?

Jessica:  Yep, exactly.  You see, I haven’t talked to him in like years, but now we can…

Jessica looks at the screen to find she isn’t allowed to view Jared’s pictures

Jessica:  Weird, it looks like he hasn’t been online to accept me yet.

Dad:  It says he wrote that update thingy fifteen minutes ago, Jess.

Jessica:  Hmm, must be a glitch in the system.  One thing you’ll learn about Facebook is that it is super glitch!  Alright, so anyway, I was just trying to prove the point that it helps you stay in touch with all types of friends.  Dad, you know Samantha right?

Dad:  The girl who comes around in those inappropriately short jean-shorts?

Jessica:  No.

Dad:  Then no…

Jessica:  Well, see Facebook is how Samantha and I stay in touch between the times we see each other.  Like, we can make wall-posts, or comment on each other’s photos, or …God damnit, Samantha!  She freaking told me she would tell me the next time she went camping with Steve and Cody!  I was the one who introduced her to them!

Dad:  Who are Steve and Cody?

Jessica:  No one!  I’m just trying to show you that it helps you stay in touch with your friends!  Whatever, I probably didn’t even want to go with them anyway. 

Jessica takes a deep breath and recollects herself

Jessica:  I’m just saying when you are young and have a lot of friends it can be a lot to handle.  That’s why us popular kids need a way to keep in touch.  Look, I have over 300 friends on-What the hell!  296! 

Jessica grabs the monitor and begins shaking it violently

Jessica:  I will find out who you deserters are, and you can better believe I won’t EVER like your stupid fallout boy quotes again!!!

Dad:  I’m going to bed.  Make sure to shut the windows before you go to sleep.

The dad begins to walk up the stairs

Jessica:  Allison is on it. 

The footsteps going up the stairs come to a stop

Dad:  Short jean-shorts girl?

Jessica:  Yep…

Dad:  I’ll sign up tomorrow.