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My girlfriend is coming to visit for the first time in about a month, so I came up with a checklist of things I needed to do beforehand. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Clean room
2. Go to store, buy: liquor, massage oils, condoms, kleenex, febreeze
3. Make reservations for dinner Saturday night
4. Clear Internet history
5. Masturbate
5a. Use massage oils, kleenex and febreeze
6. Clear Internet history
7. Shower
8. Take out garbage
My mom is under the impression that whenever something is wrong with the TV, it is automatically my 360's fault or in her words "game boxes" fault. When I say that something is wrong with the TV, I mean it is either, muted, has the video display screen and even one time, been turned off.
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Things to do before girlfriend comes to visit
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Good luck, detention monitor.
Sometimes the most timeless, magical things happen accidentally. Like farts.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
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