Brah forgets Valentine's Day, Gets Dumped

Hey, babe. Yeah, just come over to the house. What? Drinkin’ beers with my brahs. What day is it? Um, Wednesday? Valentine’s what? Oh, whatever, that’s for fags anyways. Get over here. Its twenty degrees outside? You can make it, what are you, a pussy? That’s what I thought.

Twenty-five minutes later.

Yo, babe. I can’t kiss you in front of the brahs. No, I’m not saying that. Don’t deny me a bro-grab. That’s not cool. You’re damn right we have to talk, let Moose bong this beer first. Yeah, Moose! Effin’ A!

Alright, what did you want to talk about? Oh yeah, denying me a bro-grab in front of the brahs. Not cool, Ashley, not cool. Why wouldn’t I kiss you? We’re in front of the brahs, I don’t want them thinking I’m gay or something. What do you mean by “How is it gay to kiss a girl?” It just is, alright. Same goes for saying “I love you.” Its just gay. I don’t make the rules.

Why are you crying? Cut it out, seriously, they’ll hear us. I told you, Valentine’s day is for fags. We’re all wearing pink, though. That should be enough. No, I’m not in love with Moose more than you. Thats gay. Moose is a solid guy, though, and you’re unstable. Hey, want to shotgun a Natty? Fine. We won’t. Come on, stop it. This is really killing my buzz, Ashley.

Finally. You done crying? What do you mean “My parents were right, you’re going nowhere in life?” I’m starting an internship at Moose’s dad’s dealership next summer. My grades are shitty? Big Deal. I already said that Moose is hooking me up.

So this is it? You’re breaking up with me. Well, actually, I’m breaking up with you. How do you like that? Hey, want to shotgun a beer before you go? The offer stands. Screw you, too, then! You were sleeping with who? Moose? Well, he’s my brah, you probably tricked him with your whoreish sorcery, bitch. Later, hater.

 Yo Moose! Pong? Aight, cool.