Streeter Seidell

Match The Drink To The Drunk



It’s that time of the week again, the time when Mental Floss and I team up to teach you something important.  This week we’re going to take a little test.  See if you can match the famous person to their drink of choice. 

1 Janis Joplin   A Jack Daniels
2 Queen Elizabeth II   B Daiquiris
3 Hunter S. Thompson   C Port Wine
4 L.B.J.   D Southern Comfort
5 Frank Sinatra   E Scotch and Soda
6 Earnest Hemingway   F Lemon Drop martini
7 Oprah   G Whiskey on the Rocks
8 Rush Limbaugh   H Johnny Walker Red
9 Winston Churchill   I Wild Turkey
10 Saddam Hussein   J Gin and Tonic
Answers after the jump

1:D – Janis Joplin definitely loved her some Southern Comfort, and always carried a fifth on stage with her.

2:J – Queen Elizabeth II –  More than tea, Her Majesty prefers a Gordon’s gin and tonic. Oh, and don’t forget the lemon slices. The British Queen takes 3 of them with each drink.

3:I – Hunter S. Thompson always drank Wild Turkey on the rocks. Add pills to taste.

4:E – Lyndon B. Johnson was a Scotch and soda man. When it was hot outside, the former president loved to drive slowly around his Texas ranch in an open top convertible, taking long pulls from a large foam glass. When his cup runneth low, Johnson simply dangled it out his window. Immediately, a Secret Service agent would run forward, grab the cup, race back to the service car following the president’s, re-fill the beverage, then hustle back to hand it off to the Prez. Secret Service with a smile.  

5:A – Frank Sinatra and Jack Daniels: the perfect fuel for making him irresistible to your grandmother.

6:B – Ernest Hemingway always portrayed himself to be a man’s man, Hemingway loved daiquiris. Particularly the ones made at the Floridita Bar in Havana, where they substituted maschino liqueur for sugar in the diabetic writer’s drinks.

7:F – Oprah Winfrey often drinks Lemon Drop Martinis. What can you say? All the money in the world simply can’t buy class. It can buy all of Chicago though.

8:C – Rush Limbaugh drinks port wine.  That’s about as interesting as it gets. 

9:H – Despite being a big fan of martinis and having a mother who was responsible for the invention of the Manhattan cocktail, Churchy liked sipping on Johnny Walker Red.

10:G – Saddam Hussein really wasn’t that much different from you dad. While he asked for hot water laced with honey for his last meal, Hussein’s drink of choice was whiskey on the rocks.

As always, more knowledge at MentalFloss.com

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Plastic Joe

So my uncle steals credit cards. It's kind of his thing. They once called him 'Plastic Joe' on the news, which he wildly objected to, claiming that it made him sound "like a Goddamn vibrator!" Anyway, when I was 11, the cops were raiding our house, looking for evidence to incarcerate my dear, misguided uncle. The whole family is on the porch, and my lazy-eyed dog... Read More » will not stop barking at the asshole police. They tell us that we had better shut the dog up, because he does have the authority to shoot it. I'm thinking that if he even tries to shoot my dumbass mouth breather dog, I'll punch him in the tooth. A couple of minutes later, another officer comes out of the house, and slams down a comically large orange envelope on the table, and blank credit cards and credit card paraphernalia spill out everywhere. The officer has death in his eyes, and demands to know who the envelope belongs to. Nobody says anything. But then smart ass 11 year old me stands up, and says dramatically, "Officer. Those are obviously mine. I'm a mafia crime lord. They call me Plastic Joe." I extend my wrists for cuffs. "Be gentle." The shit hits the fan. The officers get furious, my grandma is trying to tell them I was obviously joking, my sister is calling me stupid, and my uncle is laughing his balls off. 11 year old girl: 1 Cops: 0 Well, I mean...my uncle did end up getting arrested. So...maybe it's a tie.