INT.  REALITY – AIRPLANE

 (Cobb, Eames, Fischer, Yusuf, Arthur, Saito and Ariadne go to sleep.)

 

 

INT. LEVEL 1 – WAREHOUSE BACK ROOM

(Fischer and Browning/Eames are held captive.)

 Browning/Eames:  Do you remember how we got here?

Fischer:  No, not really.  I was on the plane then I was here.

Browning/Eames:  That’s so odd.

Fischer: Oh my god, this is a dream.

Browning/Eames: A what?

Fischer: They told me this might happen.

Browning/Eames: What?  Who?

(Fischer starts to unzip his pants.)

Browning/Eames: What are you doing?

Fischer: My dream; I’ll do what I want.

Browning/Eames: Oh my god, are you?

(Fischer starts beating off.)

Eames: Ugh.  Cobb! Get in here!

Cobb enters.

Cobb: Eames, what…

(Cobb realizes what’s going on.)

Cobb: Whoa! Okay.  Umm…wow.  I was not expecting that.

(Arthur comes in.)

Arthur: What’s the hold up?

(Arthur sees what’s going on.)

Arthur: Awww, Jesus.  What the fuck is he doing?

Eames:  I think it’s pretty obvious, luv.

Arthur:  (Laughing) Hey Ariadne!

(Ariadne enters.)

Ariadne:  What?  Aw, man! You guys are gross.

Cobb: Enough screwing around.  Let’s just get him hooked up for the next level.

 

 

INT.  LEVEL 2 –  HOTEL BAR

(Cobb and Fischer sit opposite each other.)

Cobb: Remember we discussed this. I’ve been planted here just in case someone tries to infiltrate your mind through your dreams.

(Fischer stares at him a bit, thinking.

He turns and starts masturbating.)

Cobb:  What the hell?!  Okay, next level down!

 

 

EXT. LEVEL 3 – SNOWY MOUNTAIN NEAR MILITARY BASE

(Ariadne and Cobb stand on the top of a mountain with their snow gear on.)

Cobb:  Okay!  We have to infiltrate the base.  Ariadne, you’re with me.  Eames! You’re with Fisch—- Oh! Come on!

(Eames stands confused.)

Eames: What?

(He looks down.  His hand is in Fischer’s pants. )

Eames: Aww, man! Not cool!

Cobb:  Okay, this isn’t gonna work.  Saito’s dead.

(Saito lies bled out on the ground.)

Cobb: My wife keeps screwing crap up.

(Mal strangles Ariadne.)

Mal:  It’s not my fault you keep marrying crazies.

Cobb: And we can’t even begin to implant an idea in this guy’s head because he won’t stop whacking it.

Fischer:  When it’s your dream, you can do whatever you want.

(Cobb shoots Fischer in the head.)

Eames: What about your kids?

Cobb:  I’ll just move them to France.

 

 

INT. REALITY -  AIRPLANE

 

Everybody wakes up groggy. 

Cobb exchanges smiles with everyone. 

He gets to Fischer.

 

Cobb: God dammit!

 

Fischer is turned in on himself, whacking it.