My entire family was very big on running. My dad did marathons, my sister ran for Dartmouth College, and my mom just ran every day. My father and sister loved to go to this place where they had trails to run on. They were not specifically made for running. No, they were made for horseback riders. The place was owned by the Rockefeller family hence such a name. With all the horses you can imagine how fun it was to run there. It was like playing dodge ball trying not to step in the largest pile of horse crap that you have ever laid eyes on. One day when we went there my dad and sister had left me to run around the lake that they had there. Halfway around I realize I have to take a little bathroom break. Immediately. They had woods there but not really the kind of woods that you want to take a crap in. So I found myself sprinting to the visitor’s center while trying not to crap my pants. Once arrived at the visitors center, if you can call it that, its more like a deserted highway rest stop with crappy art in it. The bathroom, as you can imagine, is not the most ideal place to go to the bathroom. There is a sign saying that it is maintained daily. I highly doubt this because the lights do not work. So I enter this dark bathroom and feel around, not the most ideal thing to do in a dark bathroom. I finally, after about ten minutes of searching, find the bathroom and sit down. I am calm and collected. I then hear a screeching coming from below me. Not the top five noises for me to hear when in a dark bathroom. I imagine that at the bottom of this toilet is just a pit filled with human fecal matter. Not getting the hell out of there was a bad decision. Because I then hear the noise again, I slowly get up and look in the toilet. There sits a very pissed squirrel. I run out of the bathroom and sprint for the lake. I meet up with my dad and the incident was never spoken of again…and I now have a fear of toilets, but that goes without saying.
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