Pwn My Life: Issue #26

99% of my mp3s are Japanese anime openings and Dragonball character themes. Whenever someone asks what I’m listening to, I change the track before lending them my headphones. It’s the only reason I have Eminem songs on my iPod.
-Anoymous

My most athletic feat was outrunning groups of twelve-year-olds into a movie theater to get good seats for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I waited outside for hours on opening day to be at the front of the line, but the theater foolishly didn’t set up a queue to get into the auditorium itself and it turned into a free-for-all. That was the year I graduated high school.
-Anonymous

Whenever I’m having a rough time in the bathroom, I pretend I’m turning into a Super Saiyan.
-Richard

Everything I know about kissing I learned from the South Park episode, “Butters Bottom Bitch.” Someday I hope to use that knowledge.
-Anonymous (Age 17)

I told my friends we were going to play MW2 this weekend. They argued, saying we might play Halo 3, depending on the double XP weekend game type. After 10 minutes of discussing which modes we would/wouldn’t play and making a schedule for each day, we realized that we had spent 10 minutes making a schedule for what videogames we’d be playing this weekend.
-Scottie

I had a blind date a few days ago. The best part of the date was when she recognized that my ring tone was the Silent Hill theme.
-Samuecchi

I faked the flu for for days when the new World of Warcraft raid, Ruby Sanctum, was released. I even set up my and mini-fridge and a TV-dinner tray for my laptop in the bathroom, so I wouldn’t have to stop exploring new content.
-Justin

And the “I Hope Your Neighbors Called Child Services” Award goes to:
When I was younger, I used to play Mario Kart with my Dad. I stress the “used to” part. One day, I decided I was sick of losing to him. During the last track of Mushroom Cup, I picked up a red shell and hung out in second place until the very end. I nailed him just before the finish line and took gold. He threw his SNES controller at the glass door near our TV, breaking it, and screamed “You God damn little cheater, I’ll never play this f***ing game with you ever again.” 10 years later, he still won’t play me in Mario Kart.
-Courtney