You’ve never heard of them? Surprise, surprise.
- If someone else likes it, it sucks.
- Animal Collective is the meter stick by which to measure all other bands.
- The more obscure the name, the better the band. Exception: Arctic Monkeys.
- Pass judgment upon those who listen to the radio. Pass judgment upon those who listen to Taylor Swift. Pass judgment.
- Whiny male voices only, please.
- Concert-wear must be adorned with at least one hole. Clothing, shoe, or obscure body part will suffice.
- Record stores + independent coffee shop = Valhalla.
- Mountain Goats are a band, not a euphemism.
- Never, ever show approval of a band any further than a stoic bobbing of the head.
- Who (or what?) is Lady Gaga?
Sexual History CarFax
Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2012
The Ten Internet Plagues
25 Phrases You'll Hear When You Go Out, and What They Really Mean
If Popular Songs Were Shakespearean Sonnets
25 Things You Hate Yourself for Saying
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
Sometimes the most timeless, magical things happen accidentally. Like farts.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
