Pwn My Life: Issue 38

When I was 10, I got hypothermia because I stood in an EXTREMELY cold lake for over an hour without moving. I did this because, in my head, I was training my body and mind to one day be able to defeat Kakarot.
-Anonymous

When I was in sixth grade, I emailed the local TV station to tell them to change Pokemon from 3:30pm to 4pm, so that I would have enough time to walk home from school. It was one of the proudest moments of my life when they actually changed it.
-Jon C.

I play iPhone games at every red light.
-Anonymous

When I was nine, my cousin bought The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. I was amazed with the game, but it terrified me when Link screamed when he had to wear a mask. When I was playing and had to use one of them, I’d pressed the button and run out of the room until the transformation was over. I didn’t know you could skip the scene at the time.
-Rafael

I recently accomplished the Holy Zelda Triforce: playing Ocarina of Time while getting head and eating a sandwich. Oh, and I call playing Zelda: Ocarina of Time while getting head and eating a sandwich the Holy Zelda Triforce.
-Hong

I was prescribed Cymbalta for because I have panic attacks while playing Call of Duty, but I still play it.
-Anonymous

My older cousin used to demand that I play Super Mario World so she could see Yoshi. If I ever let him die, she would lock me in a closet. She wouldn’t let me out until I promised never to let Yoshi die again. Then I was allowed to continue playing the game.
-The Walrus

I find that I’m jerking off less because I’m playing The Sims 3 more.
-Anonymous