After-College Land

    After-College Land is not a theme park. There are no fuzzy costumed characters. There are no souvenirs, unless you count all your empty bottles of Wellbutrin. Some people breeze right out of college into an awesome job where they can act like frat boys all day long. Some people hit a dizzying downward spiral and stay that way for years.
    Haha! Just kidding! Well, kinda. When some folks graduate from college, they get overwhelmed. They think they have to figure out their entire lives in about two weeks. Jobs, relationships, living situations and, you know, all those student loans.
    This can get a little overwhelming and send people straight off the deep end. No shit. I can’t figure out what I’m going to wear today, let alone, you know, what I’ll be doing forever and ever.
    Take some pressure off. Yeah, limitless choices are intimidating, but the idea can also be exciting as hell if you take it one step at a time. Figure out a job this month, your living situation next month, and start cruising for bitches the month after that.
    If you rush into something because you’re freaked out, you’ll hate it and then you’ll be back to square one. Get to know yourself first and then you’ll make better decisions.
    Like, should I work at this cheese factory? It pays bank. Well, you’re deathly allergic to cheese. Maybe you should hold out for something less lethal.  Or, should I date this girl? She is always talking about her how often she poops and what it looks like when she does but I’m  terrified of being alone. I’d say, skip that one and hold out for a girl that always talks about giving blow jobs, and then follows through.
    In a lot of ways, life after college is like a theme park. There’s a lot of screaming and barfing, but when that calms down, there’s a lot of running around and a lot of fun. If you’re aware of the screaming and barfing, you can choose to avoid it and cut straight to the fun.
    Life after college, just like the rest of life, is all about attitude. So what if you’re broke, unemployed and smelling pretty ripe? Life is good stuff. Have a laugh, a beer, and see where that takes you.