Geico Questions Guy on a Blind Date

A fancy restaurant.  Piano music and quiet chatter in the background.

The Geico Questions Guy and a girl are being seated at a table for two.

GIRL: Thanks so much for taking me here.  I’ve wanted to try this place forever.  Was it hard to get a reservation?

GEICO GUY: Do geese fly south for the winter?

GIRL (laughs politely): Well, I really appreciate it.

GEICO GUY and GIRL open menus and begin looking.

GIRL (cont’d): I’m a little nervous; I don’t usually do this.  Have you been on any blind dates before?

GEICO GUY slowly looks up from his menu.

GEICO GUY: Has Jack Nicholson been to a Laker game?

GIRL (laughs nervously): I guess you’re a pro.

She looks at the menu.

GIRL (cont’d): Everything looks so good.  Do you know what you’re going to get?

GEICO GUY: Could all the king’s horses and all the king’s men put Humpty Dumpty together again?

GIRL: Well, I’m sure we can’t go wrong.

A waiter approaches the table

WAITER: Good evening! My name is Adam. I’ll be taking care of you tonight.  Can I start you off with something to drink?

GEICO GUY: Can Superman fly faster than a speeding bul—

GIRL (hurriedly): Two waters, please.

WAITER: OK, I’ll be right back with those.

Waiter exits.

GIRL: So tell me a little about yourself.

GEICO GUY just stares at her.

GIRL (cont’d): What are your hobbies?

Again, he just stares.

GIRL (frustrated): Do you have any hobbies?

GEICO GUY: Do cotton T-shirts shrink in the dryer?

GIRL (sighs): Are you always like this?

GEICO GUY: Are Brazilian people bad at crossword puzzles?

GIRL: I don’t know; that’s just racist.

WAITER enters with waters.

WAITER: Here are your waters. Are you ready to order?

GEICO GUY: Can a sumo wrestler do a really big cannonball?

GIRL (fed up): OK, I’m out of here. Why can’t you just say yes?

GEICO GUY: If catastrophes are allowed to happen, can an all-powerful, merciful God exist?

Girl slides out of booth to leave.

GIRL: Have a good dinner. I hope you can still enjoy it.

Girl starts to walk away.

GEICO GUY: Are cavemen stupid and uncivilized?

The GEICO CAVEMAN is on a date in the booth right next to them.

GEICO CAVEMAN (indignantly): Oh, that’s really nice.