It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My suitemates have a bad habit of using my things. They use my refrigerator and leave rotten food in it. They use my printer and expect me to pay 40 bucks for ink every other month. And especially, they use my hotpot to cook noodles and this annoys the hell out of me. I'm fine with boiling water for cup noodles but cooking noodles in the Hotpot leaves stains and makes the Hotpot smell bad even after cleaning. So one day, I took my Hotpot, scrubbed it like mad with a bar of soap, made sure it was dry, and left it for my suitemates to use. They cooked noodles with it and had quite a unique culinary experience (they all had diarrhea for a week). Teach those chumps to mess with my stuff. Oh and for good measure, I also let them use my printer to print assignments and didn't tell them that I typed in small letters: "I f*cking hate this class" on the back of each page beforehand. Afterwards, all I did was deny. They never knew.
Richard C from BU
I absolutely cannot stand my roommates. One of them has anger issues, the other is just a wuss. We had to have a meeting with the RA about crap like me having a negative attitude, foul language, and smelling like smoke occasionally. However, I really am rather a positive person it is just you two who make me feel like sh*t. Anyway, they have this dumb stuffed animal owl that they hung from the ceiling that they talk to, "feed," and "clean up" after him. Mind you this is all pretend and extremely obnoxious. When they come back and look for him, he will be in the microwave, covered in cigarettes, having been zapped, melted, and fumigated.
JM Standish from CC
My sophomore year, my roommate was a typical frat boy douche who thought he was awesome, basically someone who needed to be messed with. One night, when he left his computer in the room, I downloaded a program that would let me control it remotely. I saw him studying in the library one day and waited till he got up to go to the bathroom. I took control of his computer, turned up the volume on his speakers as loud as they would go and opened the loudest, nastiest porn I could find. You could hear it all the way on the second floor balcony. His face was priceless when he got back to find his computer blasting porn and everyone staring/laughing at him. He was afraid to show his face in the library for the rest of the semester.
Evan R. from UNH
My sophomore year at college I had a roommate named Chrisy. She did a bunch of little things like drinking all of my soda but complaining that it wasn't diet and I should get diet next time. And leaving hair in the shower drain. But the one big thing is that she saved my credit card number and use it to buy makeup, clothes, lingerie you name it. So the day after I found out, I went out and bought some soda (diet of coarse) and I put testosterone pills I bought at a drug store and I put them in the soda, so every day she drank a soda, she became a little more masculine (chest hair and breast reduction).
I went over to my roommate's job at closing time so we could catch a movie. He worked at a department store and we were the only ones there. While he was counting his drawer, he suddenly looks up at me and said "Oh shit! Bad case of mud butt." He hurriedly counted the drawer and told me we had to get home, the bathrooms there were nasty. He finished and we rushed for the door, but he couldn't hold it. He ran to the bathroom and I heard what sounded like an explosion and a moan that lasted for 20 seconds. He yelled and told me to get in. Apparently, he exploded before he got a chance to sit down on the toilet cause the toilet, the wall, and the floor were covered in shit. I said let's get out of there, but he felt bad so he tried to flush the little amount that made it into the toilet. It started to overflow and we both freaked out and ran out. The next day my roommate came home from work and told that the janitor just quit his job.
Bijan G. from RMC
My roommates are not only completely stupid, but they are also extremely fat bitches. They are complete slobs, they use my stuff, and they spray so much perfume (it smells like my old lunch lady's perfume) that we have to open every window and door whenever they are "going partying". I was just going to put up with it till the end of the semester but instead I went the the store that I work at and bought some Doe in Heat. It's deer urine for hunters to use to induce the sex drive in bucks to lure them in, and I put it in their perfume, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, mouth wash, and body wash. They reeked when they get out of the shower but they don't notice. I'm hoping a buck gallops onto campus and tramples them to death. Have fun smelling like piss bitches!
I used to cook dinner for my roommates, one of whom would gladly eat the dinner but not help with the dishes because "[she] didn't get them dirty to begin with". That was no good but when she started dating one of my friends, I decided to have a little payback. I replaced half her soy milk with actual milk milk. She's lactose intolerant so I thought it would be funny to hear about how she farted her way through her date. Turns out she went home with my friend and accidentally dropped a deuce during their hookup session. Oops.
Steve A. from Berkeley