Pwn My Life: Issue #48

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I used to be a really big nerd as a kid (and still am), but I remember being very lonely. In my free time from playing video games and reading books, I remember my best memories were on the playground running around pretending to play Quidditch by myself.
-Anonymous

When I was 10 my mom bought me “Battletoads and Double Dragon.” I had been begging her for it for weeks. I played through the first stage about 10 times, but the final boss, Abobo, would always kill me and I’d have to restart to level. I couldn’t believe I couldn’t even beat the first boss. Finally, I threw my controller down in a rage, ran into the living room sobbing and yelled at my mom for buying me such an impossibly hard game. Then I cried in my room for at least an hour.
-Anonymous

Last week me and two friends went on to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. During the movie, we were arguing about all the parts that were changed/missing from the book. Eventually our chat went a little off road, and we started discussing which Harry Potter characters would make the best Pokemon trainers and we got kicked out of the theater.
-Jesus

My wife and I got married in March of 2008 and I put together the music for the ceremony. After the priest presented us as husband and wife we waited a moment at the alter and the entire wedding party stood proudly while the music and sound effects for beating a level and raising the flag at the end of a level of Mario Bros played. All of our friends laughed and cheered while our parents, grandparents, and older relatives sat confused.
-Nick L.

My first wet dream was to Joanna Dark, from Perfect Dark. I was confused about what happened and thought it was from playing too many videogames.
-Anonymous

I didn’t have a car when Bioshock 2 was released. There was no way I was missing the midnight release, so my roommate let me borrow his bike. It took me 45 minutes to get to Gamestop, but I made it right about midnight. I put the limited edition in my messenger bag and headed home. Half way back, I thought the tip of my penis was rubbing really hard against my zipper. It turned out my fly had been open for a while as I was riding into the wind, in February, past midnight. I nearly got frostbite on my penis for Bioshock 2.
-Chris

And this week’s Epic Sad Award goes to:
Today was my birthday. I turned 16. More people said “Happy Birthday” to me on World of Warcraft than in real life.
-Anonymous