1. If I go for the pat down will I get a happy ending.
2. You should check me on the way back I will be packing a couple holiday hams back there.
3. You can touch my junk.
4. Do you want to peak at the presents or just shake ‘em a little.
5. I’ll take the pat down, you can’t feel the drugs all the way up my ass.
6. If I wear see through clothes can I just skip security all together.
7. Hold on Mister, I think someone owes me dinner first.
8. Ooh cold hands cold hands.
9. How come when I do this I’m “Causing and Incident”
10. Already rounding second, good for you.



+
-
12 Different Types of Hangovers
News Feed History of the World: February 2012
20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean
10 Things You Never Have to Deal with Again After College
25 Phrases You'll Hear When You Go Out, and What They Really Mean
If Popular Songs Were Shakespearean Sonnets
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?