True Story: I wore this shirt in a Chipotle once and the manager gave me a free lunch because he wanted to convince me “Chipotle was the best.” Idiot, I was going to keep eating at Chipotle anyway.
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This is my favorite shirt because it’s got the best fit, and is a very nice, light, heather gray- a wonderful shirt color, in my opinion. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that I’m on it. My other favorites are probably the other two Jake and Amir shirts. After that it’s Centaur of Attention.
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It’s a fact of life. Haters gonna hate. And no haters hate quite as hard as Statler and Waldorf. I dare you to find harder haters.
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Humans are poorly evolved for flight: our bones are dense, we don’t have feathers, and our legs dangle helplessly below the fires of our rocket backpacks. Luckily, we don’t need both. The guy on this shirt may look he’s in horrible agony, but he’s also beginning a beautiful transformation, from man to rocketman. Buy it and tell your legs they can’t stand in the way of progress.
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Even More Super Secret Menus
Bathroom Catastrophe
Hunger Games PSAs
Instagram Filters for Facebook
Weed Strains Named After People You've Smoked With
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
Sometimes the most timeless, magical things happen accidentally. Like farts.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
