It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
I had a roommate whose ex-boyfriend lived with us for nine months without paying any rent or electricity. I begged her to make him move out, but even after he pushed me around she let him stay. My revenge was all too sweet when I slept with her new boyfriend while she was at fat camp.
My friend Dan has been icing people, including me, but refused to participate when he himself was iced in return. So when he wasn't looking, I added a red paintball pellet into his open super-size resealable bag of the Pretzel M&Ms (they look identical to paintballs except for the white "mm"). However, his neighbor across the hall, Steve, got some ravenous munchies and stole the bag of M&Ms, and started chewing away. When the impostor popped, suddenly squirting foul-tasting oil in his mouth, he was so startled he had a 5 min panic attack. Dan and I settled our differences while having a good laugh at Steve washing his mouth out in the dorm room sink. Classic.
Sam H. from Brown University
Dear Flatmate/Complicated relationship partner: You know how sometimes people dream of going to the bathroom and end up peeing themselves? Yeah sorry, kind of did that and peed all over our bed. Just be thankful that my piss didn't flow or spread over to your side of the bed. You probably wouldn't have noticed anyways, though, since the minute you woke up you kinda slid between my legs and started grinding me, and didn't notice that I was soaking. Sorry baby, it wasn't you I was wet for. Kisses!
My freshman year of college I pissed off my roommate. While I had my headphones in, he put a couple used condoms in and around my pillow. When I found them, I was pissed. I figured the best way to get him back was put them deep in his Folgers coffee tin. His mom found them when she came up to visit.
Jordan R from University of Central MO
My roommate is a violent man-hater. She purposefully seduces men then humiliates them publicly for a laugh. One time, I was about to leave the house and she stopped me and told me I couldn't go out because some guy she pissed off had been following her home lately. I asked if she thought to call the police and she said she had it covered, took out a taser and raced out the door. I'm terrified to bring a guy back to my place so I only brought my gay friends over. She couldn't have anything against them, right? Nope! She started making fun of them saying they're the most pathetic breed of men who are just jealous of women. Wrong move, bitch. You do not put down my friends. Especially the gay ones who've been bullied enough. She has all these Malcolm X posters on the walls. Obviously she hasn't read his book. I've been anonymously sending her texts with Malcolm X quotes in which he victimizes women. She doesn't know who's sending them, but she's getting pissed. Peace and love, roommie!
Hey whore, remember how you got pink eye twice in a row? Yeah, that's because Kevin rubbed his eyes on your pillow while he had it. Maybe next time you shouldn't tell my friends I slept with 40 guys when in reality that was you! Love ya, you pregnant looking bitch.
M.D. from PSU
Foundation year I shared a flat in the school's residence building with 5 other girls. One night I was hanging out in the living room with one of my flatmates, when we found a balloon left over from a party and a freaky ass horror clown mask our other flatmate bought for Halloween. So being the asses that we were (are), we decided to stuff the balloon inside the mask and placed it on my roommate's bed, a really sweet Japanese girl who comes home from work really late almost every night. She's not a bad person, but she is literally afraid of everything! We covered the mask with her blanket, turned off the lights, and then went to bed. At 5 AM that morning I awoke to her screaming hysterically, then bursting into tears. It took awhile to calm her down, which made me feel a little bad. Otherwise, it was quite funny. Sorry!
Ingrid T. from Goldsmiths College, University of London