It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 8 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
So over the summer I throw a big house party at my parent's house and invite all my friends including my one roommate Andy. Me and some people are chillin in the hottub when we decide we need to throw someone in the pool. I instantly knew it was gonna be Andy, not because he 'kinda' deserved it, but because he'd be a good sport about it. I didn't want to be a dick about it so I come up with a plan. Me and my co-conspirator walk him over next to the pool where I tell him this girl (points to random chick) said she saw him stealing from her purse. He is instantly pissed that I accuse him of doing this at my house, I tell him I believe him but to empty his pockets for show. He takes out his wallet, phone, and keys. I say 'okay looks like we're good'. We grab him by the arms and toss his ass in the pool. Afterward he was still salty that I accused him of stealing.
Paulie M. from OCC
I shared a room with a chick for a semester who would sit beside me in a class we had together occasionally. She became so comfortable with me, she began bragging to me about her active sex life, and this continued most of the semester. It didn't bother me much, until one night I caught her in the parking lot hooking up with a guy she knew I was particularly interested in, but I said nothing. The next day, I casually passed her a note in class and we began discussing her various sexual encounters with multiple guys and a few girls around the campus. I then found her address in her notebook while she was in the shower, and mailed the notes we had been passing in class to her mother, who she had explained to be adamant about staying pure until marriage. Her mother arrived a week later to remove the chick from school. Haven't seen her since.
I had a roommate named Dave that was OCD about using public restrooms. When we would go somewhere he would always cut things short to go home and use the restroom. So one day when he was out I put throw pops under the knobs of the toilet set. When he sat down they popped and of course he jumped and relieved himself all over the back of his legs.
So supposedly the floor of our dorm is haunted by a ghost of a little boy. Past students have reported hearing him running down the halls, playing with toys, even seeing him on occasion. I personally do not believe in it, but my friend who lives on the floor does. Her and her roommate had spent a terror-filled night having unexplained knocks on the door, hearing a kid playing with a ball down the hall, the works. While we both found it creepy, another friend and I decided to play a trick. We walked up to her dorm, knocked on her door and raced to my dorm, squealing in laughter. When my friend came to watch a movie, she said the knocks had come back suddenly and said this time she heard people crying in the hall. We almost could not contain our laughter! If you read this, we're sorry and we love you! But it was hilarious!
Anonymous from Chatham University
Ever since you pissed all over my couch and left a shit trail all the way to your room, and better yet, just leaving it there as if it never happened, I've been shitting in zip lock bags and placing them in your air ducts and under your bed for the past 6 weeks before I moved out. There has to be at least 20 or 30. I took the liberty of numbering them for you.
P.S. from Southern Miss
A guy who lived across the hall from me was a fairly annoying Hobbit-looking person. He wasn't a terrible guy, he was just like every annoying neighbor from every sitcom in history of time. He'd barge in uninvited, talk himself up, play a stupid prank, eat some food, and leave eventually. One day, I shaved my legs, chest, belly, and armpits on a dare. I only had to ponder for a few seconds on what do with a spare bowl of freshly clipped body locks. I snuck into his room and put large clumps of my fur into this dude's body-wash, shampoo, and deep fryer oil for good measure. I shook up all the liquids to make sure the hair was evenly dispersed enough to avoid immediate detection. The highlight of my semester was the smell of french fries emanating from his room the next day. I hope you enjoyed second breakfast you little Hobbit bastard!
Chris H. from Southern Utah University
My roommate tried to become me this semester. After teaching her a song on the ukulele, she would wait until I was gone and take pictures kissing it and record videos claiming that she was THE ukulele girl. She bought the same makeup, skincare, and tried to fit her XL body in my clothes. I should have known after seeing her vag deodorant spray/ointment, anti-diarrhea medicine, and 500 page diary talking about her "nipple covers" and how when she gets wet it needs to be "scooped out", that this girl was weird. Roomie, when you tried to go blonde after seeing a picture of Grace Kelly on my computer (because you do like snooping on my laptop) I decided to help you get even blonder after your attempt turned your hair orange. So as my farewell present, I put bleach in your shampoo and a secret ingredient from my boyfriend ;) Also, I held a diary-reading party. Everyone there agreed. You deserved it.
Diane from NYU