With so many different condom brands and styles available today, one's preference in protection says more about a person than words ever need too.

Lubricated- I just don't want to get anybody pregnant…or herpes.

Non-Lubricated- I make terrible decisions.

Spermicidal- I'm extra careful, and a mass murderer.

Ultra-Thin- I hate condoms.

Ribbed or Studded- My penis isn't good enough.

Colored or Flavored- Anything to draw attention away from my face.

Climax Control- I hope someone is having fun, because I won't feel a thing.

Extra Sensitive- This won't take long.

Extra Strength- This may hurt.

Lambskin- I'm old school.

Extra Headroom- It's been a while.

Warming- I have no idea what a vagina feels like.

Specially Shaped- It doesn't look right.

Glow-in-the-dark- I think my penis is a lightsaber.

Magnum- I'm black.