Ashton Kutcher recently sent out this press release about his future career plans.

 

“ You know I’ve been bored since Punk’d was cancelled. Being a douche bag and ruining people’s lives with out a camera just isn’t the same. So I’m bringing back Punk’d- 2.0! You’ll see me and Matt Damon throwing eggs at orphanages, Brad Pitt breaking up with Angelina Jolie during labor. Not only that but one episode we’ll have all my ex-girl friends come in thinking it’s their high school reunion but guess what you all have herpes! We’re going to be doing it bigger and better this season. We’ve sold Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan into an Albanian sex trafficking ring and now Liam Neeson has forty-eight hours to find them!