1. Walk into the restaurant with a stunned look on your face

You haven't ventured into a strange land honey you're still in NYC there are people here to help you and news flash .. when you giggle about your dumb face we laugh at your stupidity.

2. Walk in and say nothing

Am I suppose to read your mind? Honestly I want to know how two people can arrive and just stare silently at the host as if I should know exactly what you're doing here. You will be deemed stupid .. or French.

3. Demand a table

You see the entire restaurant is packed and you have no reservation. There is one empty table that seats a party 3x your size… YES I love when you ask for that table I realize just how dumb you are and I get to say it to your face and watch your surprise! one of my faves.

4. Say "REALLY?!!" to the wait time …REALLY!!?"

I've been forced to just say "uh yeah I'm not lying to you". I still feel confused about that moment.

5. Demand more room at a Japanese restaurant

what? no.. just no.