Ryan: "If Brady needs any help, I’m able to lend a caring hand"

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 Just days after the New York Jets ended their season 5 points shy of a Super Bowl appearance, Rex Ryan was back where he feels most confident – in front of a microphone. Ryan, who moved from the Defensive Coordinator position on the Ravens to Head Coach of the Jets in 2009, is know about as well for his on-field production as he is for his off-field persona.

 

However, in contrast to his prototypical podium promises, Ryan met with reporters in the premature stages of his off-season to announce a “peace keeping mission” of moral proportions.

 

“We all talk and brag and bull [expletive] throughout the season,” Ryan solemnly said, “but the reality is that the NFL is, and always will be one big band of brothers.

 

“That is why, here and now, I’d like to lend my full support of Tom Brady and his wonderful wife, Gisele, through the difficult months following any major surgery.

 

“I really want to help,” Ryan added.

 

Brady, whose Patriots’ season was ended by the Jets in the second week of the NFL Playoffs, underwent foot surgery last Thursday to repair a stress fracture in his right foot. Most analysts point to the playoff game against the Jets as the potential cause for the injury.

 

Whether it was the crushing fumble caused by the Jets’ Calvin Pace (LB) or the consistent pressure placed on Brady by big hitters Shaun Ellis (DE), Jason Taylor (OLB), and Trevor Pryce (DE),  the exact cause of the injury is hard to pin point.

 

 “Yeah those guys hit hard, that’s how we train them,” Ryan said, mildly revealing his boasting manner, “Most men [players in the NFL] like to do a lot of things to those feet.”

 

Ryan stressed the fact that if he were to care for Brady he would “take good care of them [Brady’s feet] and dress them [Brady’s Feet] all up.”

 

Though he deflected a question about his qualifications for such a task, Ryan stressed his enthusiasm to nurture and care for Brady,

 

 “I have always been a fan of Tom, Tom knows that, I’ve said it to his face, trust me, he knows.

 I just really think I could help [his feet],” Ryan lamented.

 

Brady, who has spent the past several days recovering in his Los Angeles home, believing the warmer weather would be “good for the soul” was apparently unaware of Ryan’s intentions until he was accosted at his most recent press conference with the news.

 

Pushing back his lovely locks, Brady, commented,

“Is that serious? Or are you guys just [expletive]’ing around because of that thing with his wife?

 

 “The support of the fans and the community have helped me through the early days of recovery,” Brady, smiling wryly, went on, “but as of right now, I am receiving all the support I need. I’d like to thank Rex Ryan for the offer, but frankly that’s just kinda weird.”

 

Though his request had been rejected, Ryan insisted,

“I bet his feet are soft…soft and sexy.”