Grandma
Masturbation
Paper Due in Morning
Wikipedia Vandalism
Roommate’s Computer
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...Then I asked him for money.
Often, my parents text me while I'm in class. One day, we were doing a dissection lab and I had to text my dad 'I'm busy atm'. My dad came home later that day and, very angry, told me 'I'm NOT an ATM, I'm your father.' I had to explain to him that atm was shorthand for at the moment around three times to for him to get it.
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Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
Sometimes the most timeless, magical things happen accidentally. Like farts.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
